


Ayúdame , Me Ahogo

by TRANScendtheBInary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Lance (Voltron) Whump, M/M, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRANScendtheBInary/pseuds/TRANScendtheBInary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why can’t you be more like Keith?<br/>Based on an amazing drawing that I have credited, from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ayúdame , Me Ahogo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Why Can't You Be More Like Keith](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/222172) by urka-from-murica.tumblr.com. 



> VOILA MY ANGSTY MC ANGST SHIT! READ IT AND CRY WITH ME!
> 
> Let me know if any of my descriptions are offensive or inaccurate. I tried to make them as descriptive without making them triggery.

Lance has a panic attack. No one knows. No one noticed. He keeps smiling like its no big deal. Yet on the inside he can feel the walls breaking. He doesn’t know what to do. Every time they train, the voices come back twice as strong. He stops training with the team. Taking out his frustration alone in the early morning, long after Keith’s gone to bed.

The first to realize something was off with Lance was Shiro. He goes to Lance on the observation deck and pats his shoulder. They talk about trivial things, but not the overlying issue. Yet no matter how hard he tried Lance would only smile.

“I’m fine Shiro.”

“Really, everything’s good.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.”

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

The second to notice was Hunk. Lance had stopped eating as frequently, and actually stopped all together for a few days after a mission went south. He of course comforted Lance with hugs, but knew even those wouldn’t be enough.

“I’m just not feeling up to eating, ya know?”

“I’ll eat something later don’t worry.”

“Ah I already ate, I think I’ll just go and sleep a little.”

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

Pidge takes notice when talking with Lance about Earth. It wasn’t uncommon among the team to miss home. They knew that, but for Lance to show no interest in Earth was disturbing at best. Lance was the one who missed home the most, after all he had a huge family waiting for him. And according to Hunk, he had left them on a bad note. No amount of gentle prying or reminiscing was able to break through the veil of indifference that was forming around Lance.

“Oh, hmm that’s nice Pidge.”

“Of course I miss Earth, I’m just used to the feeling.”

“No, I’m not sad about it.”

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

Allura and Coran have no idea how to deal with this sudden shift in personality. Coran tried regaling Lance with stories from Altea. And Allura tries to get Lance to flirt. Heck she evens gently goads him to see if he would respond. Yet none came. All she could see was an unfeeling mask, stuck in a ghost of a smile. Lance said he was fine and the others didn’t seem to be worried so she stopped trying.

“Princess, did Shiro put you up to this?”

“Ahahaha you know me, Casanova extraordinaire. I don’t always flirt ya know.”

“Coran, as much as I love hearing about the wild adventures of the old Paladins, I’m tired so I’m going to head to bed now.”

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

The voices were goading him. He woke up with a heavy heart. He could barely find the energy to get up in the morning. Forget about skin care, he barely slept. But the team couldn’t know. The team obviously thought he was a failure, right? Or else they wouldn’t keep asking him if he was okay. He looks in the mirror and something breaks.

Glass shatters.

Someone screams, wait no he was screaming… Why was he screaming?

He feels warmth on his hands… Ah he’s ripped his hands on the glass shards.

What happened to the mirror. He couldn’t tell you.

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

Keith starts when he hears the sound of glass shattering. He had been on the way to his room from a heavy training session. Of course it should’ve been heavy, yet his mind was distracted by thoughts of the blue paladin. He’d be a fool to say he hadn’t noticed the sudden changes in lance’s behaviors. He may be clueless to pop culture but body language is the one thing he excels at. He had seen the others failed attempts to find out what was wrong. Each attempt left a deep sense of dread in his stomach.

What had happened to make Lance act in such a way? Lance didn’t argue with him either, and that would’ve been the most shocking if it hadn’t been for Lance’s bout of muteness. Lance. Didn’t. Talk. Sure he’d joke when the others prompted him, and would laugh when the others made jokes. But he rarely engaged in conversations or started them.

Glass Shatters

“Worthless Useless Idiot!!!”

A dull thud.

Screaming was coming from Lance’s room.

Keith of course races into Lance’s room and finds his bed empty. The bathroom light was on. He enters and is horrified by what he sees. Lance was curled up in a ball shaking bloody knuckles yanking hard at his head. He was muttering something.

“You’ll never be as good as–”

“Why did you even think you could–”

“What a worthless piece of trash you are.”

Careful to avoid the broken mirror Keith stumbles over to the prone figure and lays a single hand. Lance’s head jerks up. Tears were streaming down his face, and his breath was short.

“KEITH!”

“Lance, what’s wrong? What happened?” A false smile, another fake mask Keith assumes Lance wears.

“Ahahah! How funny, you know I was just getting up to go training, and slipped when–”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m fine really Keith.” _Help me please._  
“There’s nothing wrong.” _The voices they’re suffocating me._  
“I’m fine.” _Are you really?_  
“I’m fine.” _Liar._  
“I’m fine!!” _Just tell the truth._

Keith frowns, Lance was obviously struggling.

“I’m-” The rest of the statement is smothered as Keith wraps the distraught boy in his arms. “Cry.”

“Really Keith, I–”

“Lance, shut up and listen to me. Cry, it’s alright to show weakness. Crying means you’re human, crying shows you care. I’m not good at comforting people I never had a family, but if you just let me know what’s wrong I can try and help you!”

“Keith…”

“I’m not finished. You are not worthless, in fact you are a key member of the team. Who else would’ve figured out how to pilot the blue lion in a millisecond?!”

“You easily could’ve.”

“No I couldn’t’ve. And you’re definitely not useless. Need I remind you that you managed to wake yourself from a coma and shoot Zarkon?”

“Lucky chance.” Keith could tell Lance was struggling, his breathing had calmed but the wobble in his voice implied otherwise.

“And you are not an idiot. You managed to come up with good working plans on the field in the moment. That’s better than I could do Lance. So get it into your thick skull that–”

“I’m not you! Everyone keeps saying I should be more like you! The people at the garrison, Shiro, hell even Coran has told me that! I can’t possibly be you! I’m worthless!” Lance breaks down, tears free flowing from his crystal blue eyes. Is this what he had been suffering with alone? Keith was horrified.

“You don’t need to be me Lance. You’re You and that’s perfect the way it is.” Keith certainly wasn’t expecting to find his teammate in the middle of an emotional breakdown, and Keith wasn’t expecting to deal with his new feelings for his companion. But then again, the feeling of Lance’s lips against his just might be good.

Lance wasn’t okay, and no amount of kissing or verbal comfort would change that. But Keith was determine to remain by his side through it all. Lance would heal, the scars ran deep leaving insecurities no one should ever have to face, but he would make it through in the end. Keith was sure of it.

_I will be fine.  It will be okay.  I will heal._


End file.
